Epsilon of Promise

By Tim Chartier @timchartier, Professor of Mathematics, Davidson College

I learned in college that, as the saying goes, the sun will indeed come out tomorrow. But that doesn’t mean everyone will feel its warmth.

When I began as an undergrad at Western Michigan University, I was coming off a series of health struggles that kept me out of school for the better parts of tenth and eleventh grades. By the time I got to college, I thought I had essentially grown out of them. 

Then, rather suddenly, another relapse knocked me down. Suddenly I simply wasn’t able to sit at a computer or even read the screen. So, how did I read my math books? I didn’t. At times, my mother read them to me.

I didn’t know what to do. And I was sure that no one else at school knew what to do with me either. Most people saw me as a sick young adult with very few options. And frankly, that was a valid outlook. In mathematics, the symbol of epsilon denotes a small number — often a very small number. And at that time, if my future had been measured by the variable epsilon, its value would have been greater than zero but, really, quite small. 

However, my undergraduate advisor, Dr. Shashi Kapoor, simply believed in me. He was my advocate. Dr. Kapoor stepped in and made sure I could continue, going so far as to lobby the registrar and other professors, making a case on my behalf. He saw that epsilon of promise and he believed. Toward the end of my undergraduate degree he asked, “Will you get a masters or doctorate?” I hesitated, and he knew why. I felt unsure even though my health had returned. “You can do it, Tim,” he said. 

I’m now a professor. I work to convey to students the value in their experiences and the value of their paths, even when it doesn’t align with the rather iconic images of college. We can imagine college as a time of exploration where one chooses among many majors, looking for a fit to one’s interests. Yet, it doesn’t unfold that way for everyone. We can imagine college as a time with friends, social groups, and extracurricular activities. Yet, it isn’t for everyone. We can imagine college as a time of promise, hope, and youthful dreams. Yet, college isn’t full of such memories for everyone.  

In our world today, in the midst of a global pandemic, students may struggle to see the promise of today, tomorrow, and beyond. It can be challenging on a personal level, even as a professor. In such times, I think of Dr. Kapoor and hope to offer the beaming rays of hope that he offered me and my family. Students deserve it. The first step is simply believing that the epsilon of promise is enough. It made all the difference for me, as Dr. Shashi Kapoor’s belief made so much more than an epsilon of difference in my life.