Remote, But Not Alone: School from Seclusion
by Tim Chartier @timchartier
My college experience didn’t turn out how I imagined. Twenty years ago – well before ‘social distancing’ entered the lexicon — I had to stop attending classes and learn from home.
In 1990, I had just begun my studies at Western Michigan University. I was thrilled to be there because I had missed all but a week of 10th grade and all but a month of 11th grade of high school due to health struggles.
By the time I got to Western Michigan University, I hoped that I had grown out of the issues. I still had to be careful — no all-nighters — but life seemed to be approaching normal. I had started running competitively again and was even winning some road races. I was loving my first semester. Then, halfway through that fall term, another relapse forced me to stop attending classes and learn from home.
I battled my failing health for several semesters. I was a strong student. Professors made accommodations such as extending homework deadlines and finding alternatives to being tested in the classroom. And thanks to them, I could keep up well enough to earn an A. The virus even shaped my course of studies. Fearful of being homebound for the rest of my life, I chose to major in applied math with a computer science minor, so I could telecommute if I never improved enough to hold a full-time job.
Those days are long behind me. Today I’m a professor at Davidson College and until this area of the pandemic, I really didn’t talk too much about my path through college. Frankly, it wasn’t that relevant to most students.
That changed in mid-March 2020 when almost everyone moved off-campus to learn remotely. Even now, during the fall of 2020, some students can be quarantined while other students are at home with varying degrees of interaction virtual or otherwise.
Suddenly, the lessons I learned laying in my bedroom, with my mother reading my math textbook to me because I couldn’t read, are startlingly applicable. As we move through our semesters of virtual teaching and learning, my students have shared their fears, frustrations and struggles. I have been able to respond with insight and even anecdotes from my college years.
Here are three lessons I learned from that difficult time:
Embrace the silence – Our remote world, by choice or by quarantine, can lead to a lot of silence. Silence can be comforting and peaceful but, in the beginning, day after day of stillness can also feel oppressive. In my illness, I learned to accept my quiet world. I let my mind race within it. In time, I found peace. Embracing the silence plays a role even now with more hustle and bustle in my life. Some of life’s enduring memories can involve more silent times but we first must not interrupt them due to discomfort.
Be your own friend – My time at home in high school and college removed me from my friends. In time, I came to realize there was a new friend to make – myself. Part of friendship is enjoying someone’s company; I needed to enjoy my own. In fact, I needed to learn to think of time on my own as time to enjoy who I am. I became aware of myself in a new way and took time to reflect on my life journey – big and small, just as I did with friends. Years later, I deeply enjoy sharing life’s struggles and joys with others but also can find contentment all on my own.
It is your life – I’ve had students comment on how the pandemic is screwing up their lives. Seniors lost days on campus. Dating relationships may be remote. During my illness, I came to realize my health struggles did not screw up my life, it was my life. What fell apart were my plans. Life itself was before me and unfolding as it always had. COVID-19 changed our lives. We can engage in what life offers, even while we mourn what’s been lost.
Coronavirus has fundamentally shifted our nation and world. The year 2020 is radically different than this same time in 2019. Still, we can embrace this time. We can learn. We can engage. And yes, we will mourn all that wasn’t to be.
Most people have no idea I ever had an illness. It simply isn’t perceptible in my life. And it may seem like the virus that causes COVID-19 has permanently changed everything. It may. This moment in time calls us to both be present and out of sync – a hard balancing act for us humans. But maybe this is a time to reflect on how things have shifted in each of our lives. What workarounds have you found? What creativity have you embraced by being compelled out of your routine? What do you grieve? What new has taken its place? How are you remote but not alone?